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June 27th, 2005
04:13 pm - Shark attacks...AGAIN!
Yesterday I picked up a copy of the Daily News (well, okay, Rob picked it up for me because I was too lazy) because of the shark attack picture and headline on the front page. Shark attack! Raawwrrr! That's the sound the shark makes when it attacks. Actually, I don't think sharks make any sounds when they attack. [1] But their eyes do roll back up into their heads, to protect them from the thrashing of victims. [2] Oh! And they have row after row of teeth, so when one comes out, there's another one there to replace it! I remember this from when I was a kid and I first got interested in sharks. Sharks! Monsters of the sea!
Is it wrong for me to be this excited about a fatal shark attack? Probably. But it's not like I'm happy about it or anything. I'm just...excited.
So now there's been a second shark attack, this one about 80 miles from the site of the fatal one yesterday.
So I read a Yahoo article about the first shark attack, and I was particularly pleased with this part:
Dicus, 54, said he heard a scream and saw Jamie's friend swimming for shore as fast as she could. Jamie was face down in a bloody circle of water, and the flesh had been torn on one leg from her hip to her knee. The shark, which was right next to her, appeared to be a bull shark about 8 feet long, Dicus said.
"He just followed us right to the beach," he said.
Two other swimmers came with a raft and used it to help carry Jamie to shore. The surfer said he punched the shark on the nose when it tried to attack him.
Josh asked me if I thought I could punch a shark in the nose. My answer (after wondering aloud if sharks even had noses)(my 4th grade scientific research fails me here) is, Yes, if necessary, and faced (HA! Pun intended! ZING!) with no other option, YES, I could probably punch a shark in the nose. But it's more my style to kick it in the butt when it's not looking, and then, when it turns around, just sort of whistle and look busy and then maybe point at the person next to me.
[1] In Jaws, Steven Spielberg uses this weird dinosaur sound when the shark dies at the end, and sinks to the bottom of the ocean. It's the same sound he uses in Duel, when the truck goes over the edge. All things big and evil and dangerous make tragic dinosaur sounds at their demise. It's a movie rule. Take note.
[2] Some sharks do have eyelids. This is not as cool. I like the ones that *don't* have eyelids, who only have scary rolly eyes. I like to try this at home, practicing in the bathroom mirror, until I get light-headed and have to sit down on the edge of the tub. Plus, it's hard to watch yourself doing this, since your eyes are not looking at you, but instead trying to peer inwards, to your brain, or your very soul, if you will. And I will!
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