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James Lileks
Pretty Art
My dad's website
Vote Joe!

July 8th, 2010

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Some of my journal is Friends-Only. But not much. Still, if you'd like to be added, just comment here.

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February 26th, 2008

11:39 am - Procrastination
I can't make myself reply to emails and take care of other issues I've flagged for followup. Why? Why can I not do this? I've got a million people to get back, both personal and work-related.





Also, damn you online boggle. Damn you to hell.
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated

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February 21st, 2008

10:22 am - Well, that's certainly one way of handling things.

From today's USA Today Op Ed re: the Northern Illinois University shooting:

Become a hero

I love that the title of this is "Become a 'hero' by reporting bullying, curious behavior."

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June 22nd, 2007

01:29 pm - Bugging out.
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Okay, okay, sorry, bad pun. But it's time for another cockroach update. This morning I was greeted by 3 tiny baby cockroaches in my bathroom. While the baby ones are most certainly not cute, they aren't really awful either. Easy to squash with a finger and then just throw into the sink. But - where there are three, in the period of like 2 seconds, we know there are many more (hatching?) just waiting to crawl around on my makeup and hairspray and bathroom mirror. And that they will grow into adults if they are not exterminated. Like, right now. Guess it's time to put down some boric acid or something. They always come from the same place - sort of behind the bathroom mirror, maybe from inside the walls?

I left my coffee in there for maybe three minutes (I was in a hurry this morning, and drank my coffee while washing my face and that sort of thing - well, not really at the SAME time as when I was washing my face, that's just silly) and when I came back in to get the coffee, I spotted two more tiny cockroaches in the vicinity of the mirror and then two FLOATING in my coffee. I am glad they are floaters, because it was easy to just scoop them out with the spoon and drink the coffee still.

But then, this morning at work - well, let me backtrack a second - the other morning at work, a huge waterbug ran out from somewhere near my garbage can over to Katie's desk and then underneath a filing cabinet. I wasn't scared, I was just ready to kill the fucker. But we couldn't find it! We kicked at the filing cabinet, moved part of the desk, even slipped paper under there to try to scoop it out. No luck. But I could feel it nearby, waiting...watching...patient...but sort of cocky, too. I knew it'd make a mistake sooner or later and then we'd have our man.

So today, I mention the bugs in my bathroom to Katie. And about 15 minutes later, Thompson states, rather calmly if maybe a bit annoyed, that he felt something on his foot/ankle and when he looked down, there was a cockroach on him! He brushed it off. I asked if it was big and he said, "Yeah, huge!" and he's from the south and therefore he knows bugs and he's not at all scared of them. I knew it was Mr. Unwanted Officemate, thinking he could outwit us again. Well, we went after him, but he scurried under Thompson's desk and over to Dan's desk, and still, we could not catch him. A minute or two later, Dan comes walking by and says he just saw a roach the size of a mouse run into Amelie's office. Thompson takes off after it and a minute later I hear him say, "well, it's dead now" with that cute little southern accent of his. I said, "did you find it?" and he said, "my whole foot is on it" - so it was clearly smushed. He threw it out, and I applauded. Cocky little motherfucker (the roach, not Thompson). Think you can hang around our office and we'll just let that go? No way, you nasty gross thing. Now send your little insect ghost spirit over to my apartment in Bushwick and give those babies a hint of what they're in for if they don't leave my cute and fancy bathroom stuff alone.

Okay, so now that all of this is over and I'm getting back to work (by "work" I mean, of course, not work at all, but internet surfing, crossword puzzles and just general time-wasting) I see this quiz Anya posted, about Which Director Would Direct The Story Of Your Life. I go to the site to take the quiz, and right there on the home page is some cutesy little message about a recent site bug that's been fixed - and this image:


Enough with the damn bugs, already!

Also, there was some talk, as there usually is, about why I call them waterbugs, when clearly they are roaches. Well, in NY, that's what a lot of people call them, I swear! However, the majority of my coworkers are not from New York, and like most people, they think of these as waterbugs (since they are) and I recently found out about these and also these (ferocious??), which are nothing short of nightmarish creatures that should not, in my opinion, be allowed to roam the earth even if they are somehow the only living creature preventing the imminent extinction of some species of something somewhere - if that is the case, then I posit we no longer need that species, either. Also mentioned were silverfish (which some people think of as waterbugs, because you tend to find them in your sink or bathtub) and then, because someone thought they looked like silverfish, earwigs. Okay, I'm officially done with bugs today. Ready to move on...to...FREE PIZZA! Which would taste so much better if I wasn't just thinking about roaches, roaches, roaches and not the good kind, either.

And now I can't stop thinking about this which I simultaneously love and hate.

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Current Mood: grossed. the fuck. out.

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12:35 pm - I took it, too, Anya!
And I got Woody Allen, despite skipping the whole question of crushes/dating older men. But I think it's because I grew up in NY. I also sort of grew up in NJ, though, so it's weird - I bet I would get a totally different result if I focused on adolescence rather than childhood.

Your Score: Woody Allen

Your film will be 63% romantic, 41% comedy, 28% complex plot, and a $ 25 million budget.

Be prepared to have your life story shot entirely in New York City -- though lately Woody's been loving shooting in London. Also, your music soundtrack is all jazz from before 1949. Filmography: Annie Hall, Manhattan, Stardust Memories, Everyone Says I Love You, Match Point, Scoop, etc. Woody has released one film per year consistently for the past 35 years. For the past 15 years he's been trying to make films like his older, funnier ones, just like characters in his Stardust Memories film suggest throughout. Regardless of his personal life, his films are American classics.

Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test


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April 2nd, 2007

09:17 am - Things I am obsessing about today:
2 Scrabble letters, an E and an S. I had them on a shelf (along with others, spelling out my name) and I moved everything off the shelf in order to paint the wall (haven't done that yet). I put all the letters into one big shopping bag (with all the other stuff from my desk, which I moved into another room) , and when I unpacked that bag and went to put my name back out on a different shelf -- there were the E and the S, gone! I say "ghosts"; Robert says "you mean the cats?" Anyway, it's really sad how much I can obsess about losing/finding small things like this, so that everything will be all right, somehow. It doesn't matter how many times I check and re-check the shopping bag, they are definintely not in there. They wouldn't be hard to spot - the bag is now totally empty. I'll probably only check it like once or twice again before admitting defeat and moving my obsessive thoughts to other places these two tiny wood squares could be.

Also, Francis (the Evil) chewed up the lampshade that belonged to my grandfather (which I put on my new antler lamp) and then knocked it on the ground and it's not really fixable. I mean, maybe a little, but...I don't even know how to repair such a thing. I'd need to put that stitching stuff back in - the part that holds the plastic part to the wire part. See? I can't even explain it! I will check out eBay today for sure. I am so annoyed, though! OOOOOOHHHHH Francis, I outta punch that damn cat. The good thing is that I immediately went to petfinder and finally, finally listed that little demon (and the 2 others) so that I can trick someone else into taking her out of my apartment.

At least the antler lamp didn't break, too.

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October 31st, 2006

10:55 am - Happy Halloween!

Which Onion Character Are You?
Well, it's not like I'm doing anything more useful with my time - might as well start posting again...

Hola Amigo. You are Jim Anchower. You like drinking beer and shirking responsibility. You are probably a drain on society.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Current Mood: Time for drinks yet?
Current Music: New Pornographers - Twin Cinema

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February 15th, 2006

10:28 am - This is the best thing I have read in a while.

And here is the actual article, in case the link goes down. It was written by some guy at Yale named Carl Williot. My co-worker Chet showed it to me about a week ago, and I flipped out - I wanted to send it to Josh, but he was in Guatemala, so I didn't (I should have though, since it seems like other than the hiking up the volcano part, Josh was still somehow online. Oh well, I guess that's why they call it an addiction), and then I sort of forgot about it. But MAN ALIVE, this is absolutely terrific. Here it is, in full:

If you haven't noticed, there's a whole lot going down on the international scene -- I'm talking Chloe Sevigny on Vincent Gallo in "The Brown Bunny" levels. (Or perhaps you prefer "Monica Lewinsky on Bill Clinton.")

Many of us don't understand the implications of a Hamas victory in Palestine, yet we understand the consequences of Marissa Cooper answering her sister's cell phone when Johnny the Surfer calls it on "The O.C."

But maybe if we pretend the characters in "The O.C" are actually countries, then we'll understand what's going on in the world.

Welcome to the I.R., bitch. This is how it's done in International Relations:

The part of Ryan Atwood would be America. The USA is new to the scene, really a touching rags-to-riches story. He's the main character, so the decisions he makes are central to the show. He quickly became a source of power, making him a polarizing figure with the other characters. He may be rich now, but he hasn't lost his street cred -- don't piss off America, because he'll fight you quicker than a drunk, hair-gelled Q-packer at Toad's to prove it. He has a history with France, Iraq and Israel, but we'll meet them later. First we have to meet his mentor, Sandy, a.k.a Great Britain.

Great Britain is wise, he has been around the block. Consequently, he decided to take USA under his wing, even though most of the other parents hate America. Sometimes USA drags him into trouble, but only because Britain is loyal like a dog. He's not like the other parents who think pontification solves everything; he leads by doing. Britain enjoys English ale, but sometimes he'll get a taste of an Irish car bomb.

Seth Cohen is Israel, the Jewish son of Great Britain. America is his best friend and bodyguard, which gets America into lots of trouble because Israel isn't very popular at school. Sometimes America thinks if he were to drop Israel as a friend, many of America's I.R. problems would be gone.

The object of America's affection, Iraq, is Marissa Cooper. For a while, Iraq was stable, at least on the surface. But once she was penetrated by America, everything exploded. Now Iraq is a complete whack job, making everyone and everything around her unstable. She feels that her mom, France, didn't do enough to protect her. The only person who has been by her side this whole time is America, although he is fed up with her antics.

To make matters worse for Iraq, her little sister, Kaitlin Cooper a.k.a. Iran, is just plain awful. There's no other way to put it. It wasn't always this way -- she was tight with America and had a nice sibling rivalry going with Iraq. Then puberty turned her into a raging bitch … no, a bastard. If there were ever a girl that could be called a bastard, it is Iran. Immediately after puberty, she went to war with Iraq and began hating Israel and America because she knows if they aren't around she will wield much more power. Iran is doing everything she can to mess with Iraq, America, Britain, and Israel right now -- because she is socially backwards. Iran should think twice before she continues down this path, though, because in due time she will provoke the wrath of America.

Russia (Johnny the Surfer) felt he could give Iraq things that America couldn't. Unfortunately, he is a lame-ass. The guy brings nothing to the table, so in the battle for Iraq, he lost to America. In fact, he's basically America's bitch. He recently stirred things up by getting fresh with Iraq's sister, completely oblivious that Iran is just using him as a pawn in her devious scheme to rule The I.R.

Summer Roberts is Italy. Italy is the beauty who is always there to help out America and Iraq. On the surface, Italy is very different from Israel -- they have two completely different backgrounds and religions -- but they do have some similarities deep down, which is why they make a good couple.

Kiesten Cohen would be Spain. Spain was very close to Britain, America and Israel, but she went through a rough time -- after getting bombed, she withdrew and quit trying to help America's relationship with Iraq. Spain has been relatively quiet in recent episodes.

Julie Cooper (or France) used to have it all; the Queen of the Parents. Now she lives in a trailer, loathed by all. One thing she hasn't lost, though, is her arrogance. France hates America because he screwed up Iraq. She will do anything to regain her clout, which includes getting closer with people like Iran and Russia. She has also used Spain's recent vulnerability to get closer to her.

Taylor Townsend is Saudi Arabia. America and the gang are sort of forced to be friends with Saudi Arabia, but they haven't forgotten how she backstabbed them. She is probably bipolar -- she'll blow you or blow you away, depending on which Saudi Arabia decides to show up.

Last, but least, we have Canada, originally known as Chilly. Canada is one of the least important characters on the show. His main role is to be the dork everyone laughs at.

I hope this rundown of international relations will help to dispel the "ignorant American" stereotype. (I knew my poli sci major would come in handy some day.)

And if you're wondering where my vast "O.C." knowledge comes from, well, my girlfriend gave me a refresher course. Seriously, I don't Tivo every episode. I don't wish Sandy Cohen was my dad. I don't drink every time someone on the show says "Newport" or every time Seth makes a pop culture reference.

I swear.

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January 18th, 2006

And it's not, "I killed your baby today!"

It's this:

Dear Jeans Manufacturers of the World:

Enough with the distressing already. Seriously. Stop. Please.

Thank you!
Jessie Dean

And also this:
PS - Check me out! I'm the poster child for psycho crazy! I mean, I kind of already was, but now it's official! Oooooooohh....shiny....

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December 2nd, 2005

06:22 pm - Just a moment of your time, please
From Daily Kitten (thanks to Josh for sending this to me)

Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you....

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